“Hate Myself” by Julie Elody

Q: “Hate Myself” explores the mind battle of self-perception/deprecation, and how sometimes we criticize ourselves the most as if to inflict the most pain before anyone else can get to do it. What inspired you to write this song?

ELODY: When I turned 25 I had a major mental breakdown. I felt like my journey was lacking somehow, that everyone else had it together. I started going to therapy and I told my therapist how I talk down to myself. She told me to start journaling the things I was saying. Turns out I was telling myself I was a loser, or lazy, or stupid, or that I hated myself like 30-50 times a day. She asked me if I would ever say those things to a friend or colleague and I said “of course not.” So she said, “why are you saying it to yourself then? It’s not helpful.” Over the next few years, I’ve been working on being kinder to myself. When I started writing with Adam(music producer) I knew we needed to have a song focused on that topic, as it’s been a huge part of working on my mental health.

Q: I love how melodically soft the vocals sound! What vocal routine did you practice before/during the recording of this song?

ELODY: So Adam is a crazy person. We book 8-10 hour vocal sessions. For a single song!! When we were writing this song, we intentionally made the key just out of my “full voice” range. We wanted it to sound a little more falsetto. The idea for me is that even though I’m being mean to myself that it’s in a sweeter, softer tone representing my journey to self-love, which is a process and doesn’t happen overnight. When we’re in the studio Adam does a good job coaxing the best takes out of me. I was really happy with how this one turned out.

Q: How long did it take you to create “Hate Myself”? What was your creative process?

ELODY: I always get lyrical ideas when I’m driving. Seriously. It’s so inconvenient. So I write little notes on my phone with tidbits of lyrics. When I get with Adam he’ll ask me for some inspiration songs, we go through and dissect what I like and what I don’t. Then we take my lyrical idea and run with it. It takes a couple of 2-3 hour writing sessions together to get the bulk of the song down and then I have no idea how long he spends tweaking the instrumental mix!

Q: What do you hope listeners take with them from this song?

ELODY: That’s tricky. I’m not necessarily thinking of that while I’m writing it. My best answer is two-fold. Listen to Vale, my therapist. If you wouldn’t say it to someone else, don’t talk to yourself like that in your head. But also, it’s ok if you do. We all have negative thoughts. Every day, if you wake up and try to do better than the day before, that’s all you can do.

Q: How did you get into making music?

ELODY: I’ve written lyrics and little songs since before I can remember. Hopefully, they keep getting better, haha. Music was a huge part of my life, especially during the angsty teen years. I’m pretty sure some of those songs saved my life. When I got older I realized I wanted to make music like that; maybe a song I write someday can be the song that someone cries into their pillow to until they feel better, like certain songs did for me growing up. Maybe it’s this song!

Q: If you could listen to only one album for the rest of the year, what would it be? Why?

ELODY: Ok I may get some flack for this but I’m really into Midnights by Taylor Swift. I feel like this is her first album where she’s being truly authentic and I really dig it. “Anti-Hero” is one of those songs I wish I wrote. “Snow On The Beach” and “You’re On Your Own Kid” are also fun songs to dissect. I could spend hours trying to figure out how and why she writes music.

Interviewed by Zoey King






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